similarminds.com

[World Man]

[stormshadow]

Initially, it's the people that brings the rainbows to life when they injest the skittles B) B) B)

[Guest]

This is an interesting forum. However, for the record there are some ISFP's who go far in their education ( I am working on a master's. However, some of the negatives are true. Once I quit a job without thinking logically about what I was doing, but the emotional pressure and stress led to this decision. Thus, some of the negatives are true about the ISFP, but so are some of the positives.

[World Man]

TOPIC: ISFPs are great in bed - Discuss

In all seriousness, it makes sense. If ISFPs learn alot by touching, they should be naturals.


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INTJ

[ENFPThinker]

Help, Help, Help. I am an ENFP and am right on the line between ENFP and ENTP for testing. I work in the legal field and definitely am the devil's advocate - an attribute that is often used to define the ENTP. I don't have the clingy, smothering traits that are often associated with ENFP's.

Since I am speaking to some ISFP's (at least a few, I hope), I am hoping that I will be able to get some useful feedback to enable me to do a better job of being supportive to an ISFP that I care for deeply. Six years ago, I met Robb when he worked in an area where I was doing a short term contract job. We worked in the same area for 3 months and within two weeks, we had developed a closeness that wasn't based on words - but was just there. I guess you'll have to trust me on that one. When I left to return to graduate school, we started talking on the phone.....usually for 1- 1 1/2 hours every evening. Robb had one other relationship in the years that had been in prison and that relationship lasted about 2 years. Robb and I were both 28 years old when we met. Robb had been in prison since he was 17 and I had gotten married when I was 18 because I was pregnant. I met Robb in 1999 - two years after I left my ex-husband. Robb is in prison for murder - but I won't go into the details of all of that at this point. Robb grew up in what must have been a terrible environment for an ISFP. During the course of working on his case and subpoena of welfare records, family interviews, etc, I discovered that he was abandoned multiple times by his alcoholic mother, had been shot at, sold to a farmer when he was 4, and had endured multiple partners of his mother - most of whom were abusive and violent. There was nearly constant conflict in his home. Robb has twin siblings who are 1 year older than he. Even though he is 1 year younger than them, he would generally be the one who would take a protective role when they would be thrown out of the house in the middle of the night when they were 5, 6, 7 years old. Robb would tell them how he was going to buy a big house when he grew up and that they would all live there and they were all going to be happy and there wouldn't be any more fighting. His family has told me that Robb's one dream was to graduate, get married, have a family, and live an ordinary life. He had only two girlfriends throughout junior high and high school - even though he was very attractive and was a state champion wrestler/athlete. In other words, he had unusually long relationships for a teenager. Several things struck me when I met Robb. I had done consulting in a number of penal institutions and had never spoken more than kind words in passing to any of the inmates until the year I met Robb. Robb stood out to me because he had a great sense of humor and was very compassionate toward one of the elderly inmates who had end stage cancer. He would carry him places and would clean him up when he had been incontinent of feces/urine- even though by looking at his face, you could tell it was very difficult/disgusting for him. Somehow through all of that, he was clearly helping that man to maintain some dignity and he would laugh and joke with him. After a week or so, I asked him why he did all that stuff. He said "That's Pops and he's like my grandpa. He's been very kind to me and he's dying." Beyond that, Robb had somehow managed to maintain an almost childish idealism and somehow it hadn't been tempered by the horrible surroundings of the many years he had spent in a maximum security prison since he was 17 years old. I was intrigued by and attracted to that part of him. Also, Robb was obviously incredibly loyal. I came to see this in a variety of ways during the months that I worked side by side with him. There is no question that it was during those first couple months that we came to love each other. Robb was blatantly forthcoming about the circumstances that had led to him being there. That was even more attractive to me because a lot of people in his position claim they are innocent or try to gloss over the situation to make themselves look better. He didn't do that. This was all six years ago, in 1999. Robb had missed 50-60 days during most school years as a kid because of the chaotic lifestyle he had at home. His grades were just good enough for him to stay in the wrestling program and he regarded himself as a "terrible" student. I knew from my interactions with Robb that he was bright and so I encouraged him to enroll in the college classes offered there at his prison. He did so in January, 2000 and eventually graduated with an associates degree and then a bachelor's degree, with honors. He probably wouldn't have stayed in the college program if it wasn't for my encouragement and telephone tutoring, but he has since sad that he is very glad that he did because in retrospect, he feels a sense of accomplishment. The problem that we are facing now is HUGE and it is this that I am hoping I can get some advice about. It was very important to Robb to have a family and he desperately wanted us to marry, so in February, 2001 we were married - though not in a formal ceremony with the traditional wedding vows. I just didn't want to do that in a prison - so we did it strictly on a legal/paper basis. I did this for two reasons. I knew I loved him and would love him for always. I knew that marrying him would give him something that was very important to him - a sense of family and a commitment that I wasn't going to just disappear. I have been working actively on Robb's case since 2000 and we have had a large number of snags that have nothing to do with his case that have slowed things down and kept us from getting to court with an appeal that will likely greatly reduce his sentence or result in his coming home. For ex: his attorney has had several surgeries and a mid-life crisis. I know her well and work with her and often visit in her home and I can vouch that this is indeed the case. Robb has become more and more discouraged because of this and other related things and has resorted to some old bad habits of substance use. This is especially problematic for him in prison because it can/will result in a huge loss of his credit time for good behavior if he is caught and could potentially add years onto his sentence because of this. Inmates from his building in the "Honor Dorm" area are randomly selected every week for urine tests and Robb has been heavily using marijuana - so if his number comes up, he's hit. Not only this, but Robb has gotten himself into huge debt because of this several times in the past 9 months and this has resulted in him being in a position where I either had to bail him out or he would end up being in physical danger or having to fight - other things that will hurt his chances of getting out. I have gotten very frustrated because of his not thinking about the consequences of his behavior, but I have done my best to remain non-critical and supportive - although I have on a couple of occasions, spoken very straight with him. Robb doesn't try to hide or lie to me about his substance use. In fact, after he has done it, he feels guilty and tells me what he has done and I think at one point he was in tears - almost as if he was loathing himself. He has told me that I am his best friend and the only person he has and he has asked me to ask him each day if he has used. He is trying very hard to stop - I don't doubt that in the slightest. If you had known him for the years that I have and talked with him for 1-2 hours a day for six years like I have - then you'd understand how I can say that. Robb isn't fake.........he's real. He will go for several days without using and will be starting to build confidence and then I won't hear from him for 2-3 days. Like I said, this is something that has just started happening in the past 6-9 months. He'll call me then and tell me that he used and that he was ashamed/embarassed to call me. He told me that there is a NA group at the prison and he said that even as private as he is, he would go to it, but he is pretty certain that he would be urine tested as a result and until he can go 40-60 days without using - he'll fail the test. I know he has been urine tested several times in the past and was clean since we met - but he hasn't been tested in nearly a year - so it is inevitable that this will happen soon. Robb is asking - even begging me to help him. He is starting to say things like "I'm just a bad person" and is acting depressed in a way that really concerns me. It is like the joy has gone out of his life over this whole MJ and alcohol thing. He makes up his mind he isn't going to do it and then does and then is terribly down on himself for it. Please, please - any ISFP's out there - can you give me any advice on what I can do to help him. He can't "get away" from the drugs because they are easier to get in there than out here and he is approached with offers on a daily basis. I know that a lot of personality types wouldn't understand how someone could have this kind of behavior and not be spineless, but I do understand because I have learned a lot about Robb and the ISFP type and I just need some ISFP insight on this particular situation. Thank you very much to anyone who might be able to help. You can contact me at grasslegal@hotmail.com if you'd rather contact me off the board. Thanks so much.
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<span style='font-size:14pt;line-height:100%'>ENFP with a highly developed thinking function (in some cases, I have tested as an ENTP) <br>7w6 <br>Aquarius</span>

[Guest]

i think you need to start being realistic about the situation.

you can't really help him stop using drugs. in fact, by helping him with emotional support, you are probably hurting him because it weakens his internal resolve which is the only thing that will keep someone from stopping long term. he seems like a lost cause but you seem even potentially worse because you have freedom and you are squandering it in codependence hurting yourself, not helping him. you have to assume that he will continue to behave as he has in the past, and that if that will likely mean late release then you have to decide whether you can accept that. starting asking yourself 'am i being realistic' on a frequent basis.

[SFDancer]

I think slow's description describes me, but I have a lot of positive qualities as well, and most of my friends would *not* describe me that negatively. It's just the way that I see myself when depressed.
So I have lots of other good qualities being an ISFP (though quite a balanced one between I/E, S/N and P/J). For example, I am very passionate about dancing, and also enjoy photography and design (two of the careers listed by this person). I love to go out and experience things, and can be very deeply moved by the arts.
This trait has the ability to feel quite strongly, and also the ability to perceive contrasts (that's part of the "feeling" function). It lets us perceive the world in colors instead of just black and white. The P also makes us more open-minded, and we're fun to be around (when not depressed because corporate America does not understand our type). Btw, I've heard that the cultural type here in the U.S. is an ESTJ. No wonder we get bummed out at work.

A couple books I have found very helpful as an ISFP:

The Highly Sensitive Person (could go along with this type, I'm not sure - thoughts anyone?)
The Sociopath Next Door (explains why a lot of us trusting, gentle souls are in psychotherapy, often because of run-ins with these)
Do What You Are (explores personality type)

[SFDancer]

[SFDancer]

[Rocky]

[Dancer]

I think a lot of my college crushes where ISFPs. But they never spoke very much to me... so there you have it. (The library had a good view of the fine arts department.)
_________________
INTJ type 9

[SFDancer]

Really? I know a lot of INTJs and am comfortable with them in a friendship dynamic, though not as comfortable as I used to be. I think I'm at the point in my life where I'm looking for more Fs and fewer Ts to hang out with, and this used to be different for me.

Also, they might not have spoken to you because you're both *introverts*.
I often don't initiate conversation with people I'm attracted to or interested in.
You're the first INTJ dancer I've met.

[Guest]

ISFP
disorganized, timid, easily discouraged, socially uncomfortable, does not like leadership, easy to persuade, no self confidence, not aggressive, low energy, pessimistic, fearful, anxious, easily distracted, discontented, guarded, backs down when threatened, easy to fool, longs for a stabilizing relationship, frequently overwhelmed by unpleasant feelings, easily disturbed, fears drawing attention to self, easily confused, private, second guesses self, quitter, underachiever, fears rejection in relationships, emotionally moody, sad

favored careers:
sports management, pediatrician, school teacher, carpenter, veterinary technician, singer, health educator, stay at home parent, hospitality worker, pastor, athlete, physician assistant, photographer, health care worker, shop assistant, stylist, website designer

disfavored careers:
professor, marketing, academic, criminal psychologist, politician, comic book artist, actor, psychoanalyst, dj, judge, entrepreneur, attorney


Ok i am ISFP i get it but,
as for disfavored careers... i want to become a college professor, and actor, or a forenisc (criminal) psychologist.... how weird is that? <_<

[Guest]

I'm an isfp. I think Isfp sure does love sex. I mean who doesn't.

[Guest]