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World Man
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Joined: 29 May 2005
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 Posted: Tue Jun 21, 2005 2:49 am Post subject: |
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Do you think that ISFPs are most likely the best lovers? If they prefer to learn about their world by touching, they should be naturals. Any ideas?
*Note that the topic should be "ISFPs - The best sex?" not "INTPs - The best sex?"
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Vagabond
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Joined: 18 Jan 2004
Posts: 463
Location: Boulevard of Broken Dreams
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| Posted: Tue Jun 21, 2005 3:23 am Post subject: |
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| World Man wrote: | | Do you think that ISFPs are most likely the best lovers? If they prefer to learn about their world by touching, they should be naturals. |
Only that it's all in the head :rolleyes:
I think I prefer the title as it is.
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Ο δικός μου ο δρόμος μ' έχει χρόνια διαλέξει...
INTP 5w4 sp/sx |
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Guest
Guest
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| Posted: Tue Jun 21, 2005 1:41 pm Post subject: |
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| Definitely. ISFP's are the best at sex |
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Guest
Guest
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| Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2005 6:22 am Post subject: |
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| nonsense, sex is a skill, it can be learnt |
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Vylence
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Joined: 27 May 2004
Posts: 193
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| Posted: Thu Jun 23, 2005 3:43 am Post subject: |
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I agree with the second Guest!
Really what does an ISFP have over an INFP? Wouldn't they get lost in the details? I think an overview is much more important.
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tnv
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Joined: 22 Jun 2005
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Location: In the middle of Heartland of America...Minnesota
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| Posted: Thu Jun 23, 2005 4:39 pm Post subject: |
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I think the best lovers would be the most selfish lovers. A selfish lover would only care about how best to ensure their own pleasure. If you are worrying about the pleasure of the person you're involved with, how can you appreciate what they're doing for you? And if you can't completely appreciate what they're doing for you, then their efforts are not appreciated to their fullest. Thus their efforts were in vain.
If two very selfish lovers were aware of only their own pleasures, then both of them would be satisfied in every way possible. And if they were satisfied in all ways, then the knowledge that their partner was also completely satisfied would only add to their own pleasure.
To worry if someone else was satisfied would only cause you to loose focus and lessen the pleasure of both parties involved. If you knew your partner was only thinking and acting for his/her own pleasure, it would free you to enjoy yourself without the restrictions of worry and the stress of maximizing your performance. How many people can enjoy the pleasures of sex and then say with "absolute" assurance that their partner enjoyed the union to the fullest...? How do you know...because they "told" you so? Or do you just "feel" they enjoyed it as much as you? Do you think they would really say they didn't enjoy it to the fullest? And every tyme? I think not. Part of being a good lover is not causing emotional harm to your counterpart.
At the lowest common denominator, we are all animals. Arguably smarter, possibly further along the evolutionary ladder...but still we are animals. I've never noticed animals mating and then walking/flying/swimming away acting unsatisfied. They all seem to have enjoyed themselves.
But this is just this person's opinion...tnv |
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Guest
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| Posted: Thu Jun 23, 2005 4:56 pm Post subject: |
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| agree |
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Kate
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Joined: 02 May 2005
Posts: 34
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| Posted: Fri Jun 24, 2005 1:08 am Post subject: |
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What about premature ejaculators...Really, they should try and hold back!
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Guest
Guest
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| Posted: Fri Jun 24, 2005 5:42 am Post subject: |
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Kate, sorry to hear you didnt get enough last night |
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World Man
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Joined: 29 May 2005
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| Posted: Fri Jun 24, 2005 8:24 am Post subject: |
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| tnv wrote: | | If you are worrying about the pleasure of the person you're involved with, how can you appreciate what they're doing for you?...How many people can enjoy the pleasures of sex and then say with "absolute" assurance that their partner enjoyed the union to the fullest...? |
My sex theory
Maybe sex can be broken down into at least three parts. Note that this theory is for after the couple is turned on. These parts are : a) satisfying your own needs b. satisfying your partners needs and c) taking satisfaction in satisfying your partner’s needs. I think point a) and b. are related to the concept of “personal detachment? since point a) is strictly about taking, whereas point b. is strictly about giving. I think point c) is related to the concept of “personal attachment.? This is because one partner (Partner A) who is giving pleasure (to Partner B.), still gets pleasure without any reciprocal physical contact (from Partner B.).
I think that the using all three points would make sex better, as opposed to just using one or two points. I think that if you don’t have to necessarily be “worrying about the pleasure of the person you're involved with.? First, I think being overly worried is a negative way of looking at and secondly, not everyone feels like this. This negativity can reduce or eliminate the positive features of point c). For example, you don’t have please your partner “absolutely? because this expectation could also lead to more worry (thereby reducing or eliminating point c)).
On another topic, I still have not been given any good reasons why an ISFP is not the most likely to be the best as sex.
Finally, this theory is from an INTJ , not some INTP punk.
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invicta
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Joined: 17 Jun 2004
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| Posted: Fri Jun 24, 2005 11:22 am Post subject: |
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| Has anybody conducted any experiential research with ISFPs, INFPs, or INTPs for that matter? |
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meta
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| Posted: Fri Jun 24, 2005 4:56 pm Post subject: |
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yes, everyone go sleep with some ISFPs, INFPs, or INTPs this weekend and report back.
Introverts are less sexual than Extroverts on average... so if your priority is sex, find an E. |
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Guest_Kate
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| Posted: Fri Jun 24, 2005 5:02 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | Kate, sorry to hear you didnt get enough last night |
Oh but I did.............. 
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tnv
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Joined: 22 Jun 2005
Posts: 10
Location: In the middle of Heartland of America...Minnesota
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| Posted: Fri Jun 24, 2005 11:02 pm Post subject: |
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I still feel the best lovers are the ones who are totally involved with their own satisfaction. Ponder this point for a moment: Ask almost anyone what their most memorable sexual highpoints in lyfe were. Usually they are (1) the first tyme they masturbated and (2) the first tyme the had a sexual union with another person. The reason for that is...they had nothing to compare their "first" tyme to. The act was a singular moment on their road to sexual discovery. They weren't worrying about anything else except experiencing all the new feelings. There was no pressure to perform, no comparisons to the "last tyme." Nothing. Zip. Nada. How many people remember their second or third tyme? Lyfe is full of "firsts," after that everything is relative to the last or the next time.
When you lost your first girlfriend/ boyfriend...didn't the world seem like it would end?And how many people will ever forget the first tyme someone they loved died? The first tyme you killed someone in combat? Or the tyme you went to a college classroom?
Each and everyone of these are memorable because you were totally selfish...you were only involved in how YOU felt. Everyone else was secondary. So if you are totally involved in your own sexual gratification when you're with someone else, you will bring the utmost pleasure to both yourself and your lover.
You don't think so? Try this one tyme. The next time you are having a sexual union with your lover...try coughing loudly about every 15 seconds. You will notice that after a few minutes, they can't concentrate on what their doing. They start to anticipate when you're going to cough. See, you're preventing them from enjoying themselves...so how do you feel? Guilty? And why? Because YOU are preventing them from enjoying themselves. If you totally focus on yourself, then you allow them to focus on THEMSELVES so the can enjoy it as much as you. |
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Vagabond
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Joined: 18 Jan 2004
Posts: 463
Location: Boulevard of Broken Dreams
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| Posted: Fri Jun 24, 2005 11:38 pm Post subject: |
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| tnv wrote: | | Usually they are (1) the first tyme they masturbated and (2) the first tyme the had a sexual union with another person. |
If "most memorable" doesn't also imply "most pleasant", I agree. Otherwise I disagree, but I really don't care to elaborate. :rolleyes:
| Quote: | | There was no pressure to perform, no comparisons to the "last tyme." Nothing. Zip. Nada. How many people remember their second or third tyme? Lyfe is full of "firsts," after that everything is relative to the last or the next time. |
First time of everything is usually worse than the second (etc) times for me, because the first time you have anxiety, you face something unknown, there is inexperience etc. Might not work like that for everyone (in fact I know it doesn't), but from what I hear, this is more common than what you say.
| Quote: | | When you lost your first girlfriend/ boyfriend...didn't the world seem like it would end? |
Um... no. Hardly. You assume that you fall in love the strongest your first time, and the intensity or the importance of the feeling fades away and weakens in every next experience. That might be the case if you kept going in circles falling in and out of love with the same person, till the excitement/curiosity/whatever faded out, however if you learn from past mistakes, you might find each experience more fullfilling and fascinating than the previous ones.
| Quote: | | Each and everyone of these are memorable because you were totally selfish...you were only involved in how YOU felt. Everyone else was secondary. So if you are totally involved in your own sexual gratification when you're with someone else, you will bring the utmost pleasure to both yourself and your lover. |
Agreed. Your first times (at least) are usually selfish. You have much to expect for yourself that is new, many questions on many things, blah blah. Which is, in my opinion, what makes first times less pleasant and gratifying than the following ones. Personally I find it very arousing (since we talk about sex) and exciting to see that my partner is pleasured by something I do. It is not quite as selfless and self sacrificing anyway, it is a weird sense of power on one hand, and it is the relief of knowing you can show the other person you care about them, which I consider fulfilling on both a sexual and an emotional level. If I am only concerned about my pleasure, and he is only concerned about his pleasure, that is more like masturbating at the same time than having sex - and it is definitely not making love.
| Quote: | | See, you're preventing them from enjoying themselves...so how do you feel? Guilty? And why? Because YOU are preventing them from enjoying themselves. If you totally focus on yourself, then you allow them to focus on THEMSELVES so the can enjoy it as much as you. |
Of course, you can alternatively cooperate instead of "letting them do their thing while you do yours" and do a common "thing" that will please you both.
Btw, I agree with Kate (and laugh all you want  ), when each sexual partner does his/her "thing" without caring about the other, someone will most likely be left unsatisfied.
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Ο δικός μου ο δρόμος μ' έχει χρόνια διαλέξει...
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