similarminds.com

[Dee]

thanks for your help on this one... must delete outta respect for the incumbent.

[Vylence]

What gets to me is social situations that I don't want to be in, or when I feel pressured to make a responce in such situations.

In example I was once out with a few friends, one was a really good friend who had her boyfriend with her. Well after a while at the mall (where we were) she draws back to me and places her arm around mine. She starts chatting it up, and I feel uncomfortable becuase I notice her boyfriend noticing. Well I slowly pull my arm from hers and try to act casual. But she seemed to notice my coolness and started questioning me on it. I felt trapped, I didn't want to discuss it infront of her boyfriend and I wished she'd just be quiet. I told her so. Unfortunatly she wouldn't let it go and I felt more trapped. Finally I snapped at her that I didn't want to talk, leave me alone. She was mad at me a while after that.

Often thats the case with me, I tend to just go along with the group and hang out with my best friends near constantly. And when I do they end up getting in a big arguement with someone, or nearly killing one of their family members and I always wish I could find the nearest rock to hide under.

Maybe you can gleam something from that.
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9w1 sx, INTP

[omegalega]

Vylence,

It's like I wrote the words myself.

As many people say about conflict/arguments..it's not the logic or reasonability of the points...it's the fervor of the person's argument that gets people to go along or shuts people up.

I could have a good point to make but I feel self-conscious when another is just so heated and say to myself "oh...it's not important. If I do say it...then I'll just get yelled at or ridiculed."

But put me between two heated people on a topic and I can get them to see each other's view to get to common ground.

I'm more comfortable in the mediator/peacemaker role. Put me on the spot and I may go after the other person if all avenues blocked. But I will definately beat myself before that happens. If I hadn't dropped it or walked away.

It doesn't help that I'm also a self-pefectionist.

It takes all types..pun intended.

For 9's.. I would say that many don't look at the world as Us vs. Them. For me, Us is them. So being put on a side or placed in opposition is so nerve racking.

Omegalega

[Dee]

edit..

[Vylence]

Yep I feel misunderstood, sometimes I'm the only one walking on the other side of the street.

Though you may want to go incogneto with your explorations, he may not respond well to the microscope.
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9w1 sx, INTP

[MonkeyLeo]

Chill bro... Sounds like we're two of a kind.
It may sometimes be frustating in these situations but hey,
don't worry, tommorow's another day, no-one wins a fight (especially with us large type 9's), life's so much bigger...
Hark at me ol' wise sage LOL! All I'm trying to say is don't do yourself down, you are better than that, let me tell you. Ok?!
Peace

[acidtheater]

Vagabond, it is not right to talk in Greek here. Mail me acidtheater@yahoo.gr

[Jason]

hmmm i tihnk im 9 because im so mellow and dont give a shit what people think or do as for the dudes in the car i would [robably forget about it coz its doesnt have any effect on me and he just wasted energy shhouting out of a window lol hmmmm and i tned to dodge confrontation because its easier and if someone still want a fight i can just get my mates to kick their ass for me

[binkyblue55]

(wow this thread is old)

Example of how it goes for me, my husband will do something to piss me off, or yell at me, try to pick an argument, I think about how the argument will go, how he's right in some areas and how i'm right in some areas, where i'll say something wrong, how he will and I cut to the end line of how it will turn out, and just sit back and shrug it off. In traffic people cut me off or flip me off, I've been driving with other people who say "aren't you going to____" and I just "Why bother?" It's seeing the possible consequenses for me and knowing they're not worth it, or Why bother flipping someone off? They'll just be happy they got you mad enough to flip them back off, then they drive more irratically... it isn't laziness or lack of motivation, i'm just not a revengful person. On the other hand if someone messes with my kids, i'm the complete opposite.

[Louise]

never mind

[Field Marshal]

You people make me want to fall asleep..
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ENTJ

[Louise]

[Dancer]

[Vagabond]

[logical lee]