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Romana
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Joined: 24 Jun 2007
Posts: 2939
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 Posted: Wed Apr 16, 2008 12:57 am Post subject: |
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I do not wish to be popular. I enjoy being different.
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Romana
INTJ
“The awareness of our own weaknesses allows us to view the weaknesses of others with immense compassion and to appreciate the value of their offerings.” ~ Logospilgrim |
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KNL
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Joined: 06 Mar 2007
Posts: 1454
Location: Rochester, NY, USA
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| Posted: Wed Apr 16, 2008 10:11 am Post subject: |
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| teaspoon wrote: | | Stinger911 wrote: | | Do you want to live up to the 5 stereotype or inject some innovation and unpredictability? Are you content to be the only one who can ever understand yourself? Is it worth the "risk" of reaching out and being open? |
What is the benefit of someone else being able to understand you?
What are the problems of someone else misunderstanding you?
When it comes down to it, being misunderstood is far more painful and damaging then the joys of being understood. It really isn't worth the risk, since my purpose in life is not to be understood, but to understand.
Why take a risk that doesn't serve the long-term goal? |
No pain, no gain.
There's more to life than understanding everything. And besides, what's the point of understanding something, if you're not going to do anything with it?
Says the 5.
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I'm your type. 
"Oh, crap, she's got feelings."
"I'd rather be a smartass than a dumbass."
"What can I say, I'm intellectually promiscuous." |
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Benzai
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Joined: 29 Jun 2007
Posts: 1481
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| Posted: Wed Apr 16, 2008 3:41 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: | What is the benefit of someone else being able to understand you?
What are the problems of someone else misunderstanding you?
Why take a risk that doesn't serve the long-term goal? |
Nothing, people understands your feelings and ideals. They dont care, but they do understand now.
They either chase you with pitchforks, try and pity you, find you attractive or clap you away in the funny farm. And maybe all of the above.
Because in the short term, people can screw with you. Make them understand, they dont respond. Good for you.
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Romana
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Joined: 24 Jun 2007
Posts: 2939
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| Posted: Wed Apr 16, 2008 10:16 pm Post subject: |
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| teaspoon wrote: | [numbers added]
1. What is the benefit of someone else being able to understand you?
2. What are the problems of someone else misunderstanding you?
When it comes down to it, being misunderstood is far more painful and damaging then the joys of being understood. It really isn't worth the risk, since my purpose in life is not to be understood, but to understand.
3. Why take a risk that doesn't serve the long-term goal? |
1. If you need to associate with someone (coworker, roommate, etc.) some degree of understanding makes it easier and more productive. You don't have to keep explaining yourself and working through misunderstandings. Much deeper understanding, the kind you can get from a close friend or relative, can help with personal introspection since it enables the other person to provide more specific and accurate feedback to you. I personally find that the kind of very deep understanding I have received from very few is pleasurable for its own sake. Perhaps it is the IN, or INT equivalent of the casual daily interaction that fuels more extraverted and feeling types.
2. People who misunderstand you can be grouped into three categories: those you have to deal with; those you don't have to deal with and who leave you alone; and those you don't have to deal with but who won't leave you alone. With the first group, it behooves you to explain yourself sufficiently so you can work/live/interact acceptably. More than that is just icing on the cake. The second group you can ignore. The third group is a problem only inasmuch as their behavior is annoying, interfering, or outright bullying/violent. These must be handled on a case-by-case basis, to get your desired outcome. Barring such tangible consequences, being misunderstood is only as painful and damaging as you allow it to be. Sometimes it can be downright amusing, or even useful in certain situations. The only times I have come close to being hurt by being misunderstood was when it involved someone I care strongly about. These have been few indeed.
3. What is the long-term goal? It is good to keep it in mind, but first it must be well articulated, and revised as circumstances change.
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Romana
INTJ
“The awareness of our own weaknesses allows us to view the weaknesses of others with immense compassion and to appreciate the value of their offerings.” ~ Logospilgrim |
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teaspoon
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Joined: 15 Apr 2008
Posts: 13
Location: cranium
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| Posted: Thu Apr 17, 2008 2:05 am Post subject: |
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| KNL wrote: |
And besides, what's the point of understanding something, if you're not going to do anything with it? |
The point would be joy, confidence, beliefs, etc.
But yes, you're right. There's more to life than just that.
| Romana wrote: | | If you need to associate with someone (coworker, roommate, etc.) some degree of understanding makes it easier and more productive. |
But understandings on a personal level?
From my (admittedly limited) experiences, this usually just causes problems. Productivity is best when eyes are focused on the production. Personal understandings just cause arguments.
| Romana wrote: | | Barring such tangible consequences, being misunderstood is only as painful and damaging as you allow it to be. Sometimes it can be downright amusing, or even useful in certain situations. |
You're probably right.
I'll keep this in mind.  |
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Romana
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Joined: 24 Jun 2007
Posts: 2939
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| Posted: Thu Apr 17, 2008 1:08 pm Post subject: |
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| teaspoon wrote: | But understandings on a personal level?
From my (admittedly limited) experiences, this usually just causes problems. Productivity is best when eyes are focused on the production. Personal understandings just cause arguments. |
You find it causes problems when people understand you? I've seen more problems from misunderstanding. As human beings, even the rather superficial understanding necessary in a work environment is personal in its own way - our individual work habits, communication preferences, pet peeves. Allowing coworkers to be aware of these (and learning theirs) can help things run more smoothly.
For me, deeper understanding comes only with genuine caring, as with a close friend. This obviously involves trust and openness, and by extension vulnerability. It takes time for such a relationship to develop, and if I do not have good reason to believe the sentiments are reciprocated, I will not proceed. Not surprisingly, I interact in this way with very few people, but this is definitely a case of quality far outweighing quantity.
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Romana
INTJ
“The awareness of our own weaknesses allows us to view the weaknesses of others with immense compassion and to appreciate the value of their offerings.” ~ Logospilgrim |
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teaspoon
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Joined: 15 Apr 2008
Posts: 13
Location: cranium
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| Posted: Thu Apr 17, 2008 8:51 pm Post subject: |
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No... but when people try to, the result is often an argument.
An understanding is necessary, but it doesn't get accross in a way which I can comprehend. It's not direct. You can't just go up to someone, state your work preferences, and then ask theirs. It's labeled as being rude?
The most efficient way to communicate would (in theory) be directly, but it doesn't work. I'm unable to understand why, and that's when the argument begins.
It's not anyone's fault; just this constant misunderstanding that isn't worth the risk anymore.
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It's all my invention. |
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Romana
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Joined: 24 Jun 2007
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| Posted: Thu Apr 17, 2008 10:01 pm Post subject: |
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| teaspoon wrote: | No... but when people try to, the result is often an argument. An understanding is necessary, but it doesn't get accross in a way which I can comprehend. It's not direct. You can't just go up to someone, state your work preferences, and then ask theirs. It's labeled as being rude?
The most efficient way to communicate would (in theory) be directly, but it doesn't work. I'm unable to understand why, and that's when the argument begins.
It's not anyone's fault; just this constant misunderstanding that isn't worth the risk anymore. |
Ahhh. This sounds more like a disagreement than a misunderstanding. If I share personal preferences with a coworker (e.g. I prefer email to phone, and it bothers me to have the radio playing in the office), they should understand perfectly well what I mean, but understanding does not require agreement. This is where the argument comes in, but without the understanding, without the candid sharing of information, the perhaps inevitable argument will be based on guesses and assumptions rather than accurate information.
I agree with you that direct communication is most efficient. If someone else is unhappy with that, it doesn't mean they misunderstand, simply that their values and preferences clash with yours or mine.
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Romana
INTJ
“The awareness of our own weaknesses allows us to view the weaknesses of others with immense compassion and to appreciate the value of their offerings.” ~ Logospilgrim |
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nonentropic
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Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 2359
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| Posted: Tue May 06, 2008 12:54 pm Post subject: |
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| are type 5's somewhat dominant here or what? a little over-represented it seems. |
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Jhyana
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| Posted: Wed May 28, 2008 7:37 am Post subject: |
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Romana
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| Posted: Wed May 28, 2008 11:28 am Post subject: |
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Romana
INTJ
“The awareness of our own weaknesses allows us to view the weaknesses of others with immense compassion and to appreciate the value of their offerings.” ~ Logospilgrim |
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Mescaline
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Joined: 28 Dec 2007
Posts: 386
Location: Australia
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| Posted: Fri Jul 11, 2008 4:02 pm Post subject: |
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Sexual 5!
my new band name! |
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Jhyana
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Joined: 08 May 2006
Posts: 1903
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| Posted: Sat Jul 12, 2008 5:12 am Post subject: |
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| Mescaline wrote: | Sexual 5!
my new band name! |
You type as 5?
A happy 5 -- and grounded?
6 wing?
I got a 4 wing |
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lorkan
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Joined: 01 Apr 2008
Posts: 82
Location: Stockholm, Sweden.
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| Posted: Sun Jul 13, 2008 7:23 am Post subject: |
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I got 5:
Type 1 Perfectionism |||||||||||| 50%
Type 2 Helpfulness |||||||||| 31%
Type 3 Image Focus |||||||||||| 50%
Type 4 Hypersensitivity |||||||||||||||| 65%
Type 5 Detachment |||||||||||||||||| 77%
Type 6 Anxiety |||||||||||||| 60%
Type 7 Adventurousness |||||||||| 34%
Type 8 Aggressiveness |||||||||||||||| 65%
Type 9 Calmness |||||||||||||||| 70%
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Mescaline
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Joined: 28 Dec 2007
Posts: 386
Location: Australia
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| Posted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 11:09 am Post subject: |
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| Jhyana wrote: | | Mescaline wrote: | Sexual 5!
my new band name! |
You type as 5?
A happy 5 -- and grounded?
6 wing?
I got a 4 wing |
what? I dont understand. whats going on? mum? |
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