similarminds.com

[Ashley]

ok I have a friend who everytime he meets a girl he falls for her quick but then he gets board and dumps them we've had a huge discussion about it and I was just wondering he says he comes up w/ all there faults so he has a legit reason not to speak to them but he also says that when they get serious he runs...I consider that a commitment phobia He's only 21 and it really bothers him that he hasn't met the "right" girl but I just wanted some non-biased opinions so plz try to get back to me ashley_crooms@hotmail.com

thx

[meta]

why do you care?

[OnFire]

I'm 22 and I haven't met the right girl either. (Besides I think love doesn't exist ) And there are a lot more people like him and me. So if we'd all make a topic here, that wouldn't work, would it?

Ok; I guess you probably want advice on how to handle commitment phobia? Well I don't know, because if I would know then I wouldn't be in the same situation.
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<i>"And on the eight day God created the 16 types."</i> -OnFire<br><br>Use <a href='http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Minnesota_Multiphasic_Personality_Inventory#External_links' target='_blank'>MMPI</a> if you want to know your personality.<br><br>r|C|xaI; primary Calm; R(60%)C(80%)O(52%)A(64%)I(72%)<br>Type 10: The problem solver: I need to be happy, to be happy.

[shesacalifornian]

From an outsiders perspective it seems to me that there is nothing wrong with the girls hes dumping. i think that he has some emotional wounds that he needs to recognise before he looks for someone else.

[Kallisto]

You just want him for yourself, Ashley.

[Dancer]

What type is your commitment phobic? If he's NF, maybe he's too idealistic. NT, too fault finding and doesnt really need a serious realtionship to maintain himself, if SP then doesn't want to be held down -- definite commitment phobic. Highly doubt he's SJ, cos those guys are serious. Some people just like the feeling of falling in love but resist having to do the "real" work of keeping a serious relationship

But considering he's only 21, I wouldn't worry about him being flitty too much. What is youth for? I have a similar non-relationship pattern. Maybe if he were a 40 year old, it may be a problem in his emotional development. But a 21 year old can affort to be picky and discarding. Just as long as he doesn't pick up an STD.
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INTJ type 9

[worstever6]

An STD? Why not - what's wrong with their personality? :lol:

Would that be an ISTD? or an ESTD?

oh man, i'm hilarious

[shesacalifornian]

hey i laughed

[Archangel]

[invicta]

Why is exclusivity and possesiveness the pinnacle of achievement?

[worstever6]

Umm invitica I thought you were a female? And you don't want exclusivity? So you think a better achievement in terms of relationships would be to "sow oats?" If that's the case then ummm, lemme give you my number. No but seriously I think the idea that out of the untold billions on this earth that one person would prefer you to any others is pretty damn cool. I'll take exclusivity thanks.

[invicta]

I think exclusivity is a holdover from the Dark Ages.

[Lurker]

[Lurker]

[invicta]

I meant exclusivity as an ideal is a relic of a more primitive era.

It is more about appearances and ego fulfillment than it is about loving the other person. It is a preemptive jealousy, a possessiveness that imo has no place in a relationship between self actualized people.

My habits are none of your business.