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dloppymessy82099 · Newbie Joined: 09 Jun 2008 Posts: 1

Jung describes us, twins in love. Very Happy

C.Beck · Posted: Wed Jul 09, 2008 9:50 am Post subject:

Cat Deeley? man. ENFJ i suspect.

She's sooo much fun to listen to and watch! I laugh out loud and feel fuzzy inside watching her host So You Think You Can Dance
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Jhyana · Advanced Member Joined: 08 May 2006 Posts: 1903

lorkan · Posted: Sat Aug 09, 2008 11:59 am Post subject:

I've never met any ENFJ-women. But I wonder how relationship between ENFJ's and INFJ's would be. Have you experienced it? What did you think of your INFJ-mate or ENFJ-mate? Or maybe you got parents of this combination? How are they handling the relationship, what is common problems? Is It like it says at the socionics website; that it's prone to psychological unhealthyness?
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lordofthefood1 · Posted: Sun Aug 10, 2008 12:18 am Post subject:

lorkan · Posted: Sun Aug 10, 2008 3:24 pm Post subject:

natz099 · Newbie Joined: 06 Sep 2008 Posts: 1

Lucida · Advanced Member Joined: 26 Aug 2008 Posts: 44

Yogurt · Posted: Thu Sep 11, 2008 8:42 pm Post subject: The lies...

An ENFJ was manipulating me by using guilt. I called her out on it and she totally denied it. What a liar? Haha...she lies so much that she lies about lying to me.
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INTP

lordofthefood1 · Posted: Thu Sep 11, 2008 9:01 pm Post subject: Re: The lies...

Yogurt · Posted: Fri Sep 12, 2008 4:07 am Post subject: Further more...

Thanks for your input lordofthefood1.

My issue with the ENFJ is that I feel like she's never real with me. So much fakeness.

I understand that not all lies/manipulations are bad, it depends on how it's done and what the outcomes are.

When the ENFJ was trying to manipulate me, I was thinking that guilt is such a stupid emotion. haha

Most of the time I feel like she ignores how I feel and tries to impose her views onto me.

I've tried being nice to her but that was a bad idea. The nicer I was to her the more she tried to walk all over me.

I didn't want to be a bitch but she made me into one.
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Rasputin · Advanced Member Joined: 27 Dec 2007 Posts: 1358

My mother is an INFJ, and we have a similar problem. She loves playing the guilt game, but when you call her on it, she denies she's doing it. I think the problem is rooted in her disposition to see herself as the victim. She's so sensitive that normal things that happen to people, like having an argument, or taking several days to return a phone call, are highly hurtful to her. She very easily feels rejected. You can call her on the phone, and she will make an immediate assessment of your mood based on your tone of voice, and in my case, due to our dynamic, conclude from the get-go that I don't want to talk to her. The fact is, I usually don't want to talk to her, but I do so anyway, albeit not all that often, but as much as I can put up with her. Then we get into big blowouts where she thinks I'm totally insensitive and she thinks she needs to stand up for herself and she exagerrates all my vices, and I yell at her and demand that she stop being so irrational. Later, she'll recant and start exaggerating my virtues. She's seriously confused about who I am, and about a great many things, as her perception is jaded by her hypersensitibity; though, she would never acknowledge this. So, she always tries to get closer to me, yet I keep her at arm's length because there's only so much of her I can deal with before I get so angry it takes me about a week or two to get back to normal.
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aishiteru · Newbie Joined: 26 Sep 2008 Posts: 8

If an ENFJ is angry with someone that she's known for a long time, will she say anything about it?

HT · Advanced Member Joined: 16 Jan 2006 Posts: 4998

sexyredsneakers · Advanced Member Joined: 11 Dec 2008 Posts: 48

There are those of us ESFJs that have a conscince you know. Where it is in our disposition to make someone feel guilty for their bad behavior. It is the bad behavior that causes me to react that way in the first place. There are those of us who struggle with NOT doing that to people, but it is hard when you have close friends who are naughty.

Also, lordofthefood1 has it, we do tell little white lies so NOT to hurt people, as opposed to telling lies to hurt someone specifically, or lying to someone so that a person can continue their naughty behavior, etc. I don't know if its right. A lie is a lie? Maybe, but with as mean as I can be, which is the perceived belief of my personality, is actually just the fact I am upfront/honest with people. It seems though if you are honest about how you feel your a bitch, so since I "don't want to be a bitch", I lie so not to hurt feelings. Which comes from a different place in the heart
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ESFJ