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MOTIV Personality Trait Descriptions
Vital (Identity)
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High scoring Vital testimonials Low scoring Vital testimonials |
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I feel I scored lowly on Vitality because I have a constantly shifting personality that is hard for me to nail down. I also realize a lot of my faults but do little to change them. I derive pleasure from pleasing people but this is often in competition with my desire to do what I want, whatever the consequence. This conflict ends up causing a lot of self hatred. I wish to be someone different from myself. I have an inability to see any worth in myself. I depreciate my successes and chastise myself for feeling worthy or competent and even more so when I feel happy. I also blow mistakes out of proportion and will never let myself live them down. I will sometimes punish myself for years over one mistake insulting myself in my mind I would do it for a lifetime if it were not for my eventually forgetting the mistake. However if the memory returns I will feel almost a physical pain and will cringe and shutter at the thought. I will often (if I'm alone) yell things like "I'm stupid" or "you fucking idiot" referring to myself. These outbursts are almost always involuntary as though I feel I have to say them. When I'm around people and a mistake or embarrassment returns in my mind I will suppress the outburst and it will only come out as a even toned "aaaah" or some other suppressed yell or sound but in my mind I am insulting myself. However, in both situations I wince, grimace, or cringe as if in pain and some sort of vocal noise is made both are involuntary and automatic upon remembering a past mistake or embarrassing situation. I know I will probably live like this for the rest of my life. I don't understand who I am. I get bullied. I moved schools. I like who I am, but I annoy myself for being who I am (if that makes sense). I have committed to self harm (numerous times, this is why I consider myself an addict) and I basically feel like a stereotype. Every day it's the same comments. I scored low on the vitality drive. Most likely it is because I act differently around people and it's usually in a bad way; Not in an asshole way, just immature sometimes. I also have a terrible social life, never going out with friends, not having many either and I've never been in a relationship, which at 16, most people I know seem to have. I never do anything spontaneous and the real thing is that if I were to never be seen again, so few people would care and that makes me angry at myself. I dont like who I am because I fail at everything. I was a bright child, never had to work hard to excel, in school at least. The expectations were high, and when I started to struggle, I just said fuck it. I would rather just quit than not do well. Anyway.. I didn't have many friends, I was always a comedian, and I'm funny, but only to myself. So I was just an awkward girl saying random off the wall things. I wasn't into the normal rites of passage, for example learning to drive, because I feared the responsibility or failing at it. So now I'm 25, totally inept, the victim of social anxiety, and a shitty public transportation system. My emotions and why I do the things I do are foreign, they confuse and upset me. I DO enjoy many parts of my self/identity, I believe. However, there are also things which I consciously, overtly dislike. There are also parts of my identity, as it relates to your use of identity in the test, that I regularly have differing feelings on. Sometimes it's as simple as "this aspect of my identity helped me in this situation, therefore I feel good about it" vs. "I feel this aspect of my identity hindered me in this situation, so I dislike it". Of course, our personality traits are in some instances helpful and in some instances unhelpful, so it's relatively natural. However, beyond that somewhat basic, obvious example I can say that when I'm happy, upbeat, generally feeling optimistic, etc. that my view of my identity is more favorable, even if that part of my personality/makeup didn't help make me, in any direct or obvious way, happy. The reverse also holds true, I have a more negative view of my identity when I'm depressed, even if it didn't clearly contribute to those negative feelings. Why is this? I can't say for certain, and my inclination is that it's probably a complex web of different factors, at times some factors possibly contributing more and at other times less. As an aside, it also is to an extent, in my opinion, fairly common to view aspects of oneself more favorably when happy and less so when depressed. Once again, this is surely complex, however the crux of it is, I believe, probably simply due to the way in which people often times are able to look past certain things that might bother them otherwise when they are having fun, are happy, or other pleasant emotions. And likewise the reverse is true in times of depression, when people often times think more cynically and pessimistically and have a tendency to self analyze more. I actually think the results are pretty accurate, and surprised the vitality score is so low. However, I am undergoing a lot of change in my life, and one serious change - a chronic illness that displayed a long time ago - is still being dealt with, and I am only now forced to consider its acceptance. So no, I do not like who I am. I am a burden on others and do not like many things about myself. Regarding "otherness" and such, when you are down, it is sometimes all you can do to focus on your own well being. I suppose I am trying to figure out not who I am exactly (though sort of), but more, what who I am is going to mean for my life, and others around it. I don't like myself because I have been left my whole life. I tried killing myself a while ago, and that made things even worse because death didn't even want me. I make a lot of mistakes that sometimes put others at risk. My stupidity is a big factor in this as well. The reason I do not particularly enjoy group activities is because I usually hold others back from receiving a good grade. I'm not much good at anything I do. Most of the projects I start end in complete and utter failure. I don't think before I act a lot of the time, which results in bigger problems than which I started with. I can never measure up to my parents expectations, I'm just not as good as they were when they were younger. Based on the writing above, I believe my self deprecation is reasonably justified. But who knows I could be wrong. I apologize if I came off as whiney and dramatic, I kind of am. I really don't know why I'm like this, I just don't like myself. Honestly, I am not surprised that I have a low Vitality Drive because I, myself, am aware of it. I guess you can say that it is one of those : "I choose to ignore it" things. I want to have identity, but I just don't know what my identity is because I feel the need to not create conflict with the person I am with - regardless of family members. Creating conflict with others puts me in a bad position and I don't like that. I'd rather have people like me than dislike me. So if that means I am not true to myself around others, it is all right with me. I don't like who I am, because I have no confidence in myself, never trust my decisions, opinions, instincts and most importantly, don't have the courage to express myself, and my passions and interests. I seek approval from others, not from myself, and I often expect similar attributes from others - or I put myself down, hoping others will show ways to prove me wrong, when often they take my word for it. And I doubt other people's words, hoping they will doubt mine too, but it is not doing me any good! I have set certain ideals and goals for who I want to be. I have reinvented myself many times to fit in or to come closer to being te person I want to be. When I was about ten years old I got frozen out by my previous friends for no reason. Changed school and friends a lot. I have developed bulimia and have been in diets on and off since I was ten. My dad often had panic attacks when I was very little so my mom gave him more attention than me. My sister was really mean to me in different ways. My dad favorite was my younger brother and treats him much better than me and my sister (but he doesn't admit this to us). I've been cheated on and taken advantaged of by boyfriends. I often present myself as tough and hard to other people and they treat me poorly thereafter. I dont believe I was ever taught how to love, so I try to control things. I have low self esteem at the same time but try not to show it. Peaople think I am very strong. I agree with the results except for the substance abuse I take meds for panic attacks. I don't drink or club but everyone depends on me. I don't know how to say no for fear I'll be talked about to everyone and I guess to a certain point I feel the need to be accepted by my mother & father. Without realizing it they always compare me to my brother & sister & no matter what I do for them I just don't line up & now I don't even know my place in life. I am just learning that I have personality disorders high among Schizoid, Paranoid, Avoidant and Obsessive. I am struggling in work and personal life because of what is going on with me. I know for certain that I am not like "normal" people and I despise myself for being the way that I am. If I have a poor sense of identity, then how would I know why I do? I have never been able to place exactly who I am. Other people know me better than I even know myself. I have always been indecisive and I have had trouble for some time deciding what career path I should take. I have major clinical depression and so am feeling rather low and hopeless right now. Also, I grew up in a family where I was belittled, so I didn't learn to enjoy being myself. I think I have a fairly good sense of myself now, but I am feeling unfulfilled and so don't enjoy being myself. Also, I have a lot of self-hatred. I am in an unhappy miserable relationship and only here due to a poor financial situation and children. My world has been turned upside down and I'm on my own for the first time. I'm still finding out who I am rather than who I was in my old and rather predictable surroundings. The struggle I have with my life is not knowing who I am or what I should be doing (life's purpose). I tend to drift or get pushed around by circumstance rather than take control even though I want to be in control and give my life meaning and direction. My main motivators are my children and their up bringing - from a nurture perspective neither of them seem to have any direction in life as well. I'm fresh out of a divorce. Was in the relationship for 19 years, married 4, now 37 years old. I have no children. Parents have passed. Little to no relationship with my sister. The world is open and I feel that I can be anyone I want to be and need to find who that is. I am a bit torn about who I am; while I like to "think outside the box" and derive great pleasure from theorizing on the paranormal and aliens, I also find myself afraid I may be a nut. I enjoy making myself up and being looked at, and fear becoming a narcissist, and eventually scaring my young son with my self-absorption. I believe I scored low on the Vitality drive because I have had conflicting views of what I should or should not be thrusted upon me by my family, my friends, and to an extent myself. I don't know how to make myself so that everyone will be happy, so I feel like I am constantly suspended between all these different expectations. I live in this country as an illegal and I believe that is one of the reason why I live unhappily. Many times I have to hide a side of me just to feel not judged and to avoid conflict. Another reason might be the fact that my legal status binds me to an unstable ground where I know law can take away everything away disregarding my emotional state and the family and friends I have build. Living a double life as a gay man might also have part in the results from this test and me being unhappy with myself. I have scored low on this as I have serious manic depression and take medication, some times I go between being happy with who I am and doing what I want and other times not knowing who I am, what I want or even what I like. |
| *for a low score assume the opposite of the above. the descriptions listed here are made up of personality items. people who scored high on this type scored higher on the above items compared to the average. (more info on construction) |